Really what happened was...

I was standing at the sink doing dishes, got a slap on the ass, then a kiss there as well. I turned around and he had picked a play purse off the floor and did it again, sans spanking. He then proceeded to go watch the Watchman with two of his buddies.

And no, I don't feel bad or want to make him feel bad. The man has to get out of the house sometimes. Besides, he is making it up to me, he just doesn't know it yet;)

While holding a purse

He not only kissed my ass once, but twice.

And that is all I have to say about that.

My never ending appreciation for mental penetration

You know how you can be in a shitty mood but walk down the street and a construction worker whistles, or the old man on the corner gives you the once over and it makes you feel a little bit better about, well, everything? Sometimes when I read something so great, it gives me the same feeling.

What I'm referencing is mental penetration. Not just common fodder (which I wish I could be less guilty of) but the kind of thing you read and and it makes you stop and repeat it out loud. Words put together so eloquently that you can taste them in your mouth and it makes you want to say those words too.

...or is it just me...hm..

I heart words:)

It's okay honey, really...

...your toothbrush almost fell into the toilet.

Happy Birthday!!! I love you!!!

I have to say...my boyfriend is hot..tsssssss

Not really a guy post, but if you're confident in your masculinity, read away

Perhaps I should add this to my other post. Nah.

For once in my life, I have the hot boyfriend. Let me preface things first...

Ok, I suppose every boyfriend a girl has is hot at that particular time. Technically speaking, my time that was lasting was with my ex-husband, and after the first two years he wasn't so hot anymore....jeejee...... So far, I've been with my current boyfriend for about eight months.

And oh my god, he's hot.

He still makes me weak at the knees when I think about him. His smell (even when sweaty, ga...yummmm!), his muscles. And oh my god ladies does this man have muscles! I don't mean "I go to the gym I'm toned muscles", I mean the "You touch her and I'll kill you twice" kind of muscles.

Oh, and he's not the gross body building type. I'll have to google around a bit later to find something similar, or maybe I can coerce him into letting me take a pic of him.

When his arms wrap around me in embrace, I feel like a little kitten waiting to be gobbled up by the big dog. And I fucking love every moment.

And just in case anyone is going "what the hell? why is she telling me this?" I'm telling you because I'm bragging. I am a 37 year old woman who has been living a tad bit repressed. Now that I've got something so awesome and glorious, hell ya I'm going to brag.

And tomorrow is my beasty boyfriend's birthday.


Happy early birthday, baby! I love you!!!

I looked at him and could just tell he had a stinky ass, and his girlfriend...um yeah, smelly vagina

warning, you may have to shower after reading...go on, I insist

These were just some of the things running through my mind today as I was on the subway. "Guy" gets on the subway with his "Girl". His attire included those damn baggy ass jeans that hang ever slovenly down. A white? t-shirt, a grundgy zipper hoodie, crooked trucker hat. Her attire included purple faded tights, or I guess they're being called leggings now, a skimpy t-shirt and I swear I can't remember what color it was because of other distracting things, shoes either.

They looked in love, enough I guess. That is, when one wasn't scratching and digging or the other doing that sucking noise one does when one is trying to get stuck beef out of one's teeth.

You know when someone is speaking directly to you but they have something on their face that keeps distracting you from the conversation? These two were distracting me from breathing, I could not look away. They were a train wreck match made in heaven.

Being under my microscopic eye, besides the obvious, I started noticing some things. Some disturbing things. After a particularly good scratch under the armpit (must have been good!), I saw Girl flick her nails. And stuff flew off.....not sans hair either. PUKE! As if on cue, guy took off his trucker hat briefly and did one of those back and forth motions. Yes, stuff flew off.

Gah, they were both pale and looked like they needed dipped in rubbing alcohol, scrubbed with a brillo, dipped in alcohol again, then dried out in the sun for good measure.

You know, I've been in public before without a shower. I didn't like it (because I don't like going anywhere without taking a shower first), but I did it. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't have stuff flying off me either, so I'm not comparing, just saying.

And where was I going with this? Oh yeah, there are just some people that when I look at them I immediately size them up that way. Just when I'm bored with too much time on my hands in the subway.

You need to wash your crotch. You've a smelly bum. Oh god just shave your snatch.

Today was one of those days. Heh.

I want to make soap

My apologies for not finishing my last post.....became busy, then when I had time, well, just didn't feel like it. Right now, I'm in Manhattan staying with my boyfriend.

Yesterday, I had lunch with DoggyBloggy in Chinatown at a little place called The Lunch Box. Very interesting and pleasant enough, although at one point, a crazy lunatic of a man came in screaming at anyone who would listen. At first I thought he may have been a disgruntled customer yelling at the little old Chinese guy. Apparently not, and apparently I was staring because the guy started directing his yelling to me.

I'm not homeless! I'm not some cartoon character! Bitch, I'll knock you the fuck out! Who the fuck do you think you are?? You know who the fuck I am? Well you don't need to know who the fuck I am! I may be old, but I'll beat the fuck out of you! Fucking bitch...and so forth...

This guy was clearly out of his mind. I just looked down and started eating again in hopes he would go away. He did, but wasn't quiet about it.

So many differences between here and my small town Indiana. The guy would never have gotten away with that kind of behavior there. But, here I guess there are so many more crazies just by sheer population. I'm not exactly sure why owners didn't do anything, I'm guessing because they're Chinese and all that their culture entails.

So mister lunatic is off to terrorize another day.