warning, you may have to shower after reading...go on, I insist
These were just some of the things running through my mind today as I was on the subway. "Guy" gets on the subway with his "Girl". His attire included those damn baggy ass jeans that hang ever slovenly down. A white? t-shirt, a grundgy zipper hoodie, crooked trucker hat. Her attire included purple faded tights, or I guess they're being called leggings now, a skimpy t-shirt and I swear I can't remember what color it was because of other distracting things, shoes either.
They looked in love, enough I guess. That is, when one wasn't scratching and digging or the other doing that sucking noise one does when one is trying to get stuck beef out of one's teeth.
You know when someone is speaking directly to you but they have something on their face that keeps distracting you from the conversation? These two were distracting me from breathing, I could not look away. They were a train wreck match made in heaven.
Being under my microscopic eye, besides the obvious, I started noticing some things. Some disturbing things. After a particularly good scratch under the armpit (must have been good!), I saw Girl flick her nails. And stuff flew off.....not sans hair either. PUKE! As if on cue, guy took off his trucker hat briefly and did one of those back and forth motions. Yes, stuff flew off.
Gah, they were both pale and looked like they needed dipped in rubbing alcohol, scrubbed with a brillo, dipped in alcohol again, then dried out in the sun for good measure.
You know, I've been in public before without a shower. I didn't like it (because I don't like going anywhere without taking a shower first), but I did it. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't have stuff flying off me either, so I'm not comparing, just saying.
And where was I going with this? Oh yeah, there are just some people that when I look at them I immediately size them up that way. Just when I'm bored with too much time on my hands in the subway.
You need to wash your crotch. You've a smelly bum. Oh god just shave your snatch.
Today was one of those days. Heh.
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2 comments:
And here I thought I was the only one who had such thoughts about obviously filthy people.
Na, I think everyone does, well 'cept maybe for the filthy ones...I'm almost as bad as Howie Mandel (not quite though)...the day I wrote this post I had three showers, ha, but the last one wasn't alone;)
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